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So, I've been awakened at 8:30 by yesterday's Plumber #1 calling to see if Plumber #2 got there alright and was able to help. I didn't answer, of course, I was too busy going, "Grslpxlnrf?" But I called back, got his voicemail, and said "John got here, the tub works now, although the stuff you put in it sort of dissolved it. But it's okay. It works."
That may have been a little passive-agressive, but he dissolved my tub and then woke me up the next day.
Check my email to discover the landlord got the email and is happy if I'm happy and willing to get the tub resurfaced if I want. Good.
Also, discover that![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
dapatty is very pleased by my Parker/Hardison ficlet and demands it be posted. Very good!
Also, I am hungry. And there is Bob Evan's sausage in the fridge.
Making decent sausage gravy is incredibly simple, which is why I am horribly depressed by places that put pork-scented cornstarch glue on biscuits and call it breakfast.
Here's what you do. You take your sausage and put it in a frying pan on medium-high heat. And you get a flipper and you poke at the sausage until it's in bits, like you might do for meat you're gonna put in tomato sauce. I like to leave a fair percentage of the bits as big as marbles, but I know those who like to grind it down far further. Brown the sausage completely. Then, you find some bacon fat in your freezer, 'cause odds are, the sausage is going to be too lean to make gravy out of all by itself. No bacon fat? You may have to add some butter. Turn down the stove to medium-low, and let the butter cook a while to absorb the pork flavor, if you gotta. Then, I like to take out half the sausage, but you don't have to. What you really need to do is get the milk out of the fridge, and get a little measuring cup full of flour. Set the milk, uncapped, on the back of the stove, and sprinklescatter flour lightly over the sausage and fat. If you've got a third of a package of sausage, it should be like a heaping tablespoon, but it doesn't have to be exact. You're making a roux. So you pick the spatula back up and stir the flour into the sausage and fat, so you have this pale stuff bubbling around the meat. It'll look thin. Turn the heat down even further. 'Cause fat has a high boiling point, and milk has a low boiling point. Wait a little while, and keep stirring. Then pour some milk in, right from the gallon. It'll look weird, and then it'll be all thick and weird. Pour in some more. You'll probably end up using at least half a cup, but it'll glop up good. Throw in a little pepper and maybe some onion powder, and you're done. Then I like to get out the biscuits (or toast, if I'm lazy, I ain't proud) and put the sausage gravy on, and then add some of the plain sausage I took out earlier on top.
See. That takes ten minutes. Pan. Sausage. Fat. Flour. Milk. And it's hard to mess up a lard-based roux. Seriously difficult. (A light and piquant hollandaise sauce, sure, but not gravy. It's gravy, for crying in the mud.) If I can do it so easily, what the heck is wrong with places like Cracker Barrel?
Anyway, there's nothing like sausage gravy in the morning, preferably while watching the new episode of Burn Notice. Oh, Bruce Campbell, you will never call me. But that's okay. I love you anyway.
That may have been a little passive-agressive, but he dissolved my tub and then woke me up the next day.
Check my email to discover the landlord got the email and is happy if I'm happy and willing to get the tub resurfaced if I want. Good.
Also, discover that
dapatty is very pleased by my Parker/Hardison ficlet and demands it be posted. Very good!Also, I am hungry. And there is Bob Evan's sausage in the fridge.
Making decent sausage gravy is incredibly simple, which is why I am horribly depressed by places that put pork-scented cornstarch glue on biscuits and call it breakfast.
Here's what you do. You take your sausage and put it in a frying pan on medium-high heat. And you get a flipper and you poke at the sausage until it's in bits, like you might do for meat you're gonna put in tomato sauce. I like to leave a fair percentage of the bits as big as marbles, but I know those who like to grind it down far further. Brown the sausage completely. Then, you find some bacon fat in your freezer, 'cause odds are, the sausage is going to be too lean to make gravy out of all by itself. No bacon fat? You may have to add some butter. Turn down the stove to medium-low, and let the butter cook a while to absorb the pork flavor, if you gotta. Then, I like to take out half the sausage, but you don't have to. What you really need to do is get the milk out of the fridge, and get a little measuring cup full of flour. Set the milk, uncapped, on the back of the stove, and sprinklescatter flour lightly over the sausage and fat. If you've got a third of a package of sausage, it should be like a heaping tablespoon, but it doesn't have to be exact. You're making a roux. So you pick the spatula back up and stir the flour into the sausage and fat, so you have this pale stuff bubbling around the meat. It'll look thin. Turn the heat down even further. 'Cause fat has a high boiling point, and milk has a low boiling point. Wait a little while, and keep stirring. Then pour some milk in, right from the gallon. It'll look weird, and then it'll be all thick and weird. Pour in some more. You'll probably end up using at least half a cup, but it'll glop up good. Throw in a little pepper and maybe some onion powder, and you're done. Then I like to get out the biscuits (or toast, if I'm lazy, I ain't proud) and put the sausage gravy on, and then add some of the plain sausage I took out earlier on top.
See. That takes ten minutes. Pan. Sausage. Fat. Flour. Milk. And it's hard to mess up a lard-based roux. Seriously difficult. (A light and piquant hollandaise sauce, sure, but not gravy. It's gravy, for crying in the mud.) If I can do it so easily, what the heck is wrong with places like Cracker Barrel?
Anyway, there's nothing like sausage gravy in the morning, preferably while watching the new episode of Burn Notice. Oh, Bruce Campbell, you will never call me. But that's okay. I love you anyway.
