Siiiiick

Sep. 2nd, 2015 10:19 am
sweetmusic_27: A biohazard symbol (biohazard)
Well, the rapid test for strep throat came back negative (we'll see tomorrow about the slower culture), and I think I'm doing better today than yesterday, but...

I am tired of hot fluids. Coffee, tea, broth. Mostly tea.

I love tea! I have many kinds of it! I have a nice six-cup teapot which handily fills my Rather Large Mug twice. I have everything from trashy-and-sweet caramel vanilla tea to Fortnum and Mason's Earl Grey. Usually I take it with sugar, but sometimes I mix things up! I'll make black lemon tea and sweeten it with apple juice and brandy. I'll make PG Tips and have it with milk and reminisce about good times across the pond. I'll make chai and add honey and heavy cream. But I've had enough. I kind of wish somebody would bring me a margarita or something. Whatever the opposite of tea is.

I am tired of resting.

I love sleep! I love the way my eyelids get heavy. I love having a firm, flat foam pillow under a puffy squishy down one, so I can punch the top one or fold the bottom one depending on how I want to sleep. I love making a nest of blankets when I'm fevered or chilled or achy, so I'm surrounded by warmth and softness and support. I love waking up when I've had a hardcore nap and that disoriented feeling when you look at the clock and for a second you're not sure if it's AM or PM or maybe even what day it is. I love those little thoughts that drift into your consciousness just as you start falling asleep that aren't quite dreams, just your mind wandering more freely than you let it when you're fully awake. I love that delicious feeling when you stretch under the covers and feel the cool edges of the sheet under your toes and fingertips, the parts that haven't warmed to your body heat. And in the same fashion, I love flipping my pillow over to the cooler side. I even kind of love how, if you sleep hard enough, you sort of wake up feeling filthy? Y'know, sand in your eyes, cooled sweat sticking to your back and neck, your mouth all gummy and awful, your arm pins and needles. And how great it feels to get into the shower and brush your teeth and then maybe drink a pot of coffee and go back to bed afterwards.

It's just boring as hell when your job is to drink tea and rest. And I love the way cough syrup helps me sleep, but I hate that shaky-weird feeling I get when I wake up at two in the morning and have to go to the bathroom ('cause of all the tea).

I'm better at self-care and envisioning and adhering to a more useful "sick role" than I used to be, especially now that I play music for a living and I really truly want my body to be healthy so I can pursue my calling, but I'm still impatient and demand-resistant.

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sweetmusic_27: A biohazard symbol (Default)
sweetmusic_27

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